Syameela

Penyadaran diri melalui kanal hampa di ruang-ruang kesepian nan lelah

ketika bonus bulanan dari Tuhan diterima sehingga tiada kalam-Nya bisa terjamah

cahaya ketika lentera sementara tiada bisa dinyalakan karena redup dan lemah

baik air dingin ketika panas hati merajai dan emosi tak mau mengalah

setiap helai daun jatuh atas kehendakNya

pun air mata seorang ibu jatuh tiada tanpa prayoga

setali keresahan hati dan jumpanya mutiara

sebagai petuah kepada seorang hamba

I'm Back!

Hello lilife, hello viva voce,

Hello my heart..

I'm back..!

what a wife are for?

I hope I could be u'r friend to talk to.

not only as a lover, honey

or..

if u couldn't change at all..

follow u'r way

never bother me..

disappointment

I disappointed with your judgemen, honey

without considering other's feeling

dishonour and disregard other is almost unforgivable

My pray

my pray when I was student at university

I stated to God

whether He have me to make my parents happy

or I get what I want and make myself happy I will choose one

but He..

He helped me choosing. that I should make my parents happy

Now, I'm getting 30's

and I pray, didn't not sue anymore

I pray that I could make my parents happier, a lot happier

and I

I choose nothing to myself

home

home is
where your heart is

my biggest fear

my fear is 

when I think about you and I realize I could not give you my very best

when I spend my lonely nights only to realize that I could not love anyone but you

when I realize that I could die anytime and I haven't time to say I love you

when I couldn't hug and kiss you when you need my support

and my biggest fear is

when I loose myself, coz it's mean i'm loosing you

what are you looking for?

after all
you end up with this question..
what are you looking for?

WEIRD

isn't it strange?

when suddenly you feel so lonely

and you noticed maybe you just realy listened to your heart just now, just right now

maybe you just lonely as always

isn't it weird?

when you ask yourself " am I happy?'

you just stand still, looking deep into your heart but your watery eyes just  can't see clearly

damn, what's the feeling I feel right now? sad, regret or love?

maybe it's all

I feel sad, coz it's the only way I forget you

regret, coz I was to afraid to tell that I love you

love, I've forgotten how to spell it lately

I thought that,

the road I have taken was the right one

but now I'm afraid that it isn't

this heart, where will it take me to?

guilty

after the party

after we danced

my heart said,

what would we do next?

can we continue?

but the guest said,

no, we should go home 

so I'm alone sitting here

is that I heard knocking on my door? 

oh,

please come, and open the door

I will welcome you, my common sense

welcome my awareness

I feel cold, hold me,

hug me, 

raise me up

but ,

why this emptiness don't wanna get out from here?

it covers me, and sucks my breath

so,

just leave me alone

let me get lost

let me find the way, I will

fear

realizing what a big mistake in my life

that times passing by without we noticed it

must find the lost identity

must find the one I've known before

where is she? what is she looks? what are other people saying 'bout her?

I'm scared

that I'm not fair to myself

to you too,

and I affirmed myself again

am I good enough for you?

and again, I asked myself

do you really miss him?

does he feel the same way too?

and I

I could not even give an exact answer

prejudice, perceive, chance

sometime

we made so many prejudices to people around us

but, many of them are the bad ones

the person whom we thought not understandable person

confusing us with our perceive -"what would I say"expression- complaining his character 

actually he's hiding his innocent

maybe he has warm heart

and maybe he only allows you to know him finally in the end

after  you've made many (bad) prejudices 

and it's you who should made an approach

knowing him better 

understanding him better

respect other better

so, just control your mind

make only good prejudice

and remember, minds over matter

before christmast-

I received a christmas present from my professor (Na Dong Hee) 

I made so many prejudices about him, and in the end I found the truth, finally

so sorry, but I'm happy to coz I still have  chances  to mend it

hopefully~

ebook for my life

After I read You've got to read this book (Jack Canfield & Gay Hendricks) I realized that..

Yes, we've been affected and changed by persons, movies, musics, and finally by books.
Books that inspired, changed our night before sleep into the magic night, as our morning day become the new brand day. The book that made our life richer, made us understand that we're the "chosed one" in this wild world, should be shared- and spread so that it may can affect the others we care as well.

Talking 'bout books, these are my fave books.


1. Sophie's World -Jostein Gaarder (indlucing his "Solitaire mystery" also)
2. The Magic of Thinking Big - David Schwartz
3. The Secret - Rhonda Byrne (also her DVD)
4. Anak Bajang Menggiring Angin - (Sindhunata)
5. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff series(Richard Carlson)
6. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
7. Harry Potter (J.K Rowling)
8. The 7 (and 8) Habits of Highly Effective People (Stephen Covey)
9. Gandhi- The Story of My Experiment With Truth (Autobiography)
10. You - The Owner's Manual (Michael F. Roizen & Mehmet C. Oz)

Actually there are many books, and it's kinda difficult to pick 10 of them. But I thought I've tried.

before the presentation

on the test today
you will be there
support me,
watching me

so, there's no fear I feel
I passed it successfully
I knew it before

I am

I feel great
I am in control
I can make things happen

That's all I am