guilty

after the party

after we danced

my heart said,

what would we do next?

can we continue?

but the guest said,

no, we should go home 

so I'm alone sitting here

is that I heard knocking on my door? 

oh,

please come, and open the door

I will welcome you, my common sense

welcome my awareness

I feel cold, hold me,

hug me, 

raise me up

but ,

why this emptiness don't wanna get out from here?

it covers me, and sucks my breath

so,

just leave me alone

let me get lost

let me find the way, I will

fear

realizing what a big mistake in my life

that times passing by without we noticed it

must find the lost identity

must find the one I've known before

where is she? what is she looks? what are other people saying 'bout her?

I'm scared

that I'm not fair to myself

to you too,

and I affirmed myself again

am I good enough for you?

and again, I asked myself

do you really miss him?

does he feel the same way too?

and I

I could not even give an exact answer

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was yourself.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

by Derek Walcott